i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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