Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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