Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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