Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
