im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
