I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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