Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
