have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize