The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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