And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
