I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
