he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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