I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
