Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
