I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
