Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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