Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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