Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
