She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
