Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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