ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
vagina is talking i cant
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
