We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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