Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I looked at my own cervix.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
