I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
