just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
