I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize