Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
