and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize