I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize