Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize