I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize