HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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