Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
