So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
