he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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