the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
