the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
