Capitaan dildo arrescate!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
