does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
