she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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