:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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