butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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