If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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