Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
