Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
