I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
