yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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