i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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