i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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