He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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