Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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