Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
