So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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