she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
