Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
