Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
