is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In other news, I just burned my penis
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
