what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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