Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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