I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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