You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
