6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
