a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
